The Disappointing Wait
by Sargent-titan
Summary: A soulmate story where the time ticks on your wrist. James Kirk has definitely seen his soulmate but has never formally met him. When he finally does, he is underwhelmed at best. The critical moment he has been waiting for is a moment he could live with erasing from his memory. See the moment of contact, and then the aftermath of it all. T for language.
1. Critical Moments

**Heyo again! This will almost certainly have an epilogue written up in the next twenty-four hours cause I want to get the idea out before I leave for camp. I hope you enjoy!**

When the assembly was called, James T Kirk was understandably confused. Not only was every cadet in his year called to the meeting hall, there wasn't much time left until he would meet his soulmate. In fact, it was in thirty-seven minutes to be exact. So you truly must excuse his confusion when the assembly was called.

He and Bones were rushing to the hall because surprise surprise, they were running a little behind. Kirk had lost his clean and ironed pants ("Bones, I told you, I misplaced them…") and needed to hurriedly iron a not to worn pair. By the time they had made their way, Kirk's timer had reached twenty-four minutes.

The two men were some of the last people to file in, and just in time too. Just as they took their seats Admiral Barnett and the rest of the Admirals had taken their seats. Kirk paid no attention to this, and instead searched the room for the person who was destined to meet him in nineteen minutes. 'Huh, maybe her. She sure is a beauty. But what about her-' and his thoughts carried on this way until Bones began to grump about what a waste of time this was, and to just get on with it.

"Really, they call us all down here in the middle of the afternoon with no notice, and now they haven't even begun. Typical." the southern doctor complained. Jim laughed just as the Admirals began the meeting. And to be fair, he really tried to pay attention, truly. But when the time to meet your soulmate is literally ticking away, you tend to get a little antsy. It wasn't until he heard his own name that Jim suddenly perked up to hear.

He was being called to the podium. In a trial. And his timer had plunged into seconds. This left James a little disoriented as he tried to piece together what was happening. He shuffled out of his seat and down the steps onto the podium.

He was on trial because he cheated on the Kobayashi Maru, and whoever stood up in approximately thirty seconds was supposedly his soulmate. If this was true, then it was whoever was pressing charges against him. Jim looked at the jury in irritation, anger flashing in his azure eyes.

"Is there anything you care to say before we begin?" Oh, there were a few things that Kirk wanted to say, and none of them would end well for his Starfleet career, so he forced himself to remain calm. Anger this early in the game would get him nowhere, and getting kicked out of Starfleet was becoming more and more possible.

"Yes, I believe I have the right to face my accuser face to face." with twenty seconds Kirk knew that he couldn't be wrong. The person to stand up would be his soulmate, no matter how aggravating this entire trial may be. He began to envision a young cadet, someone who had been jealous of his success in Starfleet and on the Kobayashi Maru.

When the name passed Admiral Barnett's lips, Kirk became a stone. The picture of a young woman in a red cadet uniform vanished into a young Vulcan professor, who had pointed ears, dark bowl cut hair, and a permanent stick up his ass. Commander Spock. Now, Kirk couldn't deny, the Vulcan was hot despite, well, everything, but he was just not James T Kirk's type. And Kirk's type definitely wasn't someone who brought up charges over a stupid test.

Just as this commander spoke, the numbers on Jim's arm buzzed to a still. It was true, and his life was over. How could this Vulcan who was pressing academic charges on him be his soulmate? Was is just his luck?

But then, maybe he could get over this all. A minor bump in the road, that was all. It all seemed like banter, albeit not playful and quite hostile, but banter. And really, James could see where the Vulcan was coming from, and he knew that cheating was wrong. It's just that Jim could see that the test itself was a cheat in itself. Jim could go along with this, say what he needed to get this over with so everyone could move on with their lives.

Well, that was until the Commander brought up his Father. His father and subsequent death had nothing to do with what Jim had done wrong, nothing at all. At this point, Jim was fed up with the Vulcan and just wanted him to shut up. Everything he said after that point became defensive, and to him, true. The test was a cheat if no one could complete it. Nothing is no win, no matter what.

Had the trial continued, the blond could see himself getting kicked out. Hot headed and unprepared, Jim was emotionally unbalanced for the time being and would end up saying something he would quickly regret had he been allowed to continue. But by the time Jim's anger had really taken hold, the trial had been paused on account of a distress call from Vulcan.

Jim couldn't really pay attention to much of what Admiral Barnett was saying, something about the graduating class being required to step up and take early commissions on board the vessels. That meant everyone was quickly taking their leave from the meeting hall. That included a certain Vulcan professor.

Vulcan. Oh right, his soulmate. Why would fate be so cruel to choose _him_? Commander Spock obviously hated him, and _let's be honest with ourselves Jim,_ Jim hated Spock. The very thought of the tall raven haired man made Kirk's blood burn.

Putting all of that aside, Kirk stepped down from the podium, eager to find Bones and gripe about the unfairness of the world and its choices. One thing Kirk knew for sure was that no matter what the universe saw destined for him, Jim would _never_ see the Vulcan as anything more than a nuisance to be avoided at all cost.

 **And if you're reading this you've survived! Congrats! As always, critisism is always welcome, and thank you so much!**


	2. to breathe and recover

**So I actually updated, Woo! I'm pretty proud of this considering the dialogue portion made me want to die (I suck at dialogue). Well, I hope you enjoy and I'll see you at the bottom! BTW, I dont own star trek but I'm sure y'all knew that by now!**

After everything that had happened over the past few days, Jim just wanted a moment to breathe and recover. Just a moment. However, onboard the Enterprise, a moment is hard to come by. This is especially true after a planet had been destroyed and an emotionally unstable Romulan had attempted (and failed) to handicap the Federation. Suffice to say, it had been a strange three days (or had it been four?). The hours had been witness to mutiny, Vulcan emotional outbursts, and so many things that would make anyone think twice about the truth of your tale. Jim could barely believe it himself, and he had been a central component to many of these strange happenings. As he said, it was a strange few days.

There was something that kept nagging at the back of Jim's mind. Memories passed through his mind whenever his eyes closed. Memories that weren't his. Memories, that belonged to a Jim and a Vulcan that were not from this universe. And _Oh Jesus he needed a drink just thinking about that._

But now was not the time. He needed to be focused. At the moment he was the acting captain, as Pike was on medical leave until returning to Earth, and Spock had not taken back the duty after he was no longer _emotionally compromised_.

And there was another thing he didn't want to think about. Jim winced as he recalled his harsh words only moments after Vulcans total destruction. After the death of Spock's mother.

He was such a jerk. He deserved the backlash he received from Spock, no matter how much his body protested that idea. Jim decided that the next time he saw Spock, he would apologize. He wouldn't be able to explain himself fully, but he needed to say he was sorry.

Quickly backtracking from that train of thought, Jim looked down at his PADD and began to review the updates he was being given from the different sectors of the Enterprise as well as communicating with the Admiralty down on Earth. Normal communications on the Enterprise had been shut down to reserve energy for the slow journey home; The slow archaic practice of Email was to be relied upon.

The process of reading the reports was comforting to Jim, whose body was protesting the continued use of adrenaline for the past few days. It felt good to see that things were coming back into order. The wings that had not been destroyed were slowly regaining function, and the refugee Vulcans were being set up in the gymnasium as well as in willing occupants assigned rooms. It was good to see the world spiral back into control, the immediate future was set.

It let Him forget about the unforeseeable future. The academic trial was still in order, and hell, Jim wasn't even supposed to be on the Enterprise, let alone be captaining her. James Kirk wasn't a stupid man, and he knew that it was highly improbable that he would get kicked out after saving Earth, but he also knew it was highly probable that he wouldn't be the captain of any ship anytime soon, if ever.

This wasn't even the tip of the iceberg for him. There was still the whole issue of Spock, who _oh yeah_ definitely hated him. You know, messing with someone's test and then insulting them directly after a very personal tragedy tends to do that to a person. And to be completely honest, Jim still wasn't that hot on Spock either. Jim respected the Vulcan but knew for sure that Spock thought he was unstable and undeserving of the chair.

Thinking of Spock made him realize that he hadn't seen him in hours, which was odd since Jim had been walking the entirety of the ship in order to avoid sleep- that, and he didn't actually have assigned quarters, and even though Pike was in Sickbay, he felt weird using the Captain's quarters- and Jim knew Spock would not be resting at this time. Not even knowing the Vulcan for a week, and Jim could see that Spock was dedicated to his duties as first officer of the Enterprise and her continued existence.

Thinking of Spock also made him a little sad. After seeing the memories that the elder Spock had unknowingly shown him, Jim knew what he and Spock had been like in another time; soulmates, in love, T'hy'la (whatever that meant but Jim inferred it was synonymous with the latter, or at least close enough). In this universe, he would be lucky to gain Spock's respect, let alone the recognition of what Jim's timer had told him.

Seriously, fate fucking sucked.

"James Tiberius Kirk, you get the hell over here right now!" a gruff voice shouted from the direction of med bay. Doctor McCoy practically tackled the blond man to the ground.

"Whoa Bones! What's gotcha so hyper?" Jim asked casually albeit a little nervously. Full names were never a good sign, especially from angry southern doctors.

The older man's face was pinched in irritation as he barked, "You, you numbskull! It's been thirty-three hours since you did only god knows what on that Romulan ship, and you haven't been checked out yet." Jim's eyes widened as he was dragged into the doctor's office, desperately wriggling to free himself.

"Please Bones, I'll do anything- Oh! Spock! I actually needed to speak to you about something!" he gasped as he spun out of the doctor's grasp. Even a Vulcan who had every reason to see you as scum of the Earth was better than an angry doctor's inspection. Spock looked up from his PADD, and it almost seemed like he was about to turn down the other hall at the last second before he conceded and took his previous path. The doctor growled before retreating, not wanting to be witness to the moment James T Kirk regretted his very existence.

That's when Jim realized what an idiot he was. Not only an idiot, but a vulnerable one who hadn't decided what he was going to say. The Vulcan looked down at him with a cold stare. Jim was convinced it was meant to turn him to ice. "You wished to speak to me, captain?" _Oh, Shit the stare was better than the voice._

Jim stumbled for a second, not really sure how to begin. "Uh, yes I did Mister Spock. I think it would be better if we had this conversation in private though." Jim had seen several crew members give the pair sidelong glances. News traveled quickly on a starship, especially when the first officer almost killed the captain.

After a noticeable silence has settled awkwardly between them, Spock replied. "I believe that would be wise Captain." was the clipped answer he received. And was he hearing things, or did he hear Spock emphasize 'Captain'?

Despite his overall wariness of being alone with Spock- was it fear of Spock himself or fear he'd say something stupid?- he lead the tall Vulcan to the ready room, feeling it was an appropriately professional environment for what was about to occur.

This was around the time Kirk inwardly panicked. Staring at the fibers of the science blues, Kirk realized just how tall and intimidating Spock was and really didn't want to say anything to the man for fear of another violent backlash.

"Captain, if you had nothing to say, why did you call me here?"

' _Shit_ ' Kirk thought, ' _he's getting agitated'._ "No! I mean, I do have something to talk to about, I just don't know how to explain."

"I do have duties that need to be attended to." Spock started towards the door.

"Wait, I just- I just wanted to apologize for everything. For the mutiny and the things I said. I didn't mean them… I just wanted to say sorry." For a second, Jim thought Spock would continue out the door, having more 'logical' things to be doing at the moment. Instead, Spock turned back, and though the Vulcan would never admit it, Jim saw a spark of curiosity behind the dark eyes.

Spock looked down at Jim, and while Jim was worried that the Vulcan wouldn't accept, or would say that apologizing was illogical or something like that, Spock was actually very surprised to hear the apology. He hadn't expected Kirk to mention the incident. And really, Spock felt if anyone was owed an apology, it was Jim. Spock had physically attacked the man, had broken under his emotions and could have seriously hurt him. Would have seriously hurt him had it not been for his father.

"Captain, though your apologies are admirable, I believe I am the one who owes you an apology. Attacking you over mere words was unprofessional and should have serious consequences." Jim was flabbergasted. After everything, he couldn't see how anyone could see the attack as anything but his own fault.

"That was all my own fault, I promise you that. I was trying to emotionally compromise you, and you lashed out. Had I been in your position, I'd of done the same." Spock looked like he was about to cut in, "Can we not play the sorry game? I'll accept your apology, only if you accept mine." this entire conversation felt a tad childish to Jim, and he wanted it to end.

Spock paused for a moment, thinking over the words. "I believe that would be agreeable."

Kirk breathed an inward sigh of relief. "So, can we start over?" now this was where Spock seemed to hesitate. Jim retracted his sigh from before, waiting for the Vulcans response. Spock was very still, and he seemed to be considering Jim very carefully.

Finally, he spoke. "That would be acceptable." Jim smiled at the Vulcan, and Spock raised a hand slightly. "However, I would like to inform you that my respect is very hard to earn." Jim still smiled, hope in his eyes. He could make it up to Spock; He still had a chance to make things like the other universe.

"I know, and I'll prove to you that I'm worth your respect!" Jim said excitedly.

"I must take my leave now, the science station requires my attention. Goodbye, Captain."

"Bye Spock!" and the Vulcan was gone. Jim's smile remained on his face. He had a chance to make things right, and by god, he was going to make the most of it. He may not like Spock, but he would learn to. In fact, he was already warming up to the man. Soulmates could wait, he had a Vulcans respect to earn.

 **And welcome everyone who made it down here! I hope you liked it, it would be great to get feedback to know if anyone's reading, if my writing is ok or, if it sucks. Thank you!**


End file.
